Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Results Are In! (with some warm fuzzy thoughts about some men in my life)

American Idol isn't the only game in town, ya know.
I had my own little thingy going yesterday (well, actually today ...since I blog at or near midnight each night and most of you don't stay up to read it hot off the press. I guess you think it's more important to sleep - and I plan on joining you beginning June One, right after I get crowned Every Day in May American Blogger.

The results of whether you want me to blog from the homeschool convention, or have my children serve as Guest Bloggees, were really just too close to call. I think ya'll are such Nice Blog Readers that you didn't want to choose either side, fearing there might be hurt feelings. In reality, I wanted to "lose" (thus winning, because I wouldn't have to seek out blog-worthy convention moments), and my children wanted to "lose" (thus winning by not having to entertain their Mommy's friends. Little do they know, that most of you are not my friends. Or maybe you are. There's just no way of knowing unless you identify yourself - - - by commenting for instance).

Speaking of Unknown Blog readers.....At this very moment I am reclining on the sofa bed of one of my anonymous readers. My step-mom. I'm spending the pre-convention night with her.
When she told me, I was both flattered and alarmed. All my past posts came sprinting through my mind. Have I ever been disrespectful - or irreverent - or used bad grammar?
I realized that maybe I like it better not knowing who my readers are. I don't have the time or brainpower to be politically correct, so I'd rather offend people without knowing about it.

My son, Shep, made the five hour drive down with me today. He has a job interview in D.C. and needed to get to the airport. I want to encourage you moms of boys that are in the throes of child
pedagogics right now (and yes...that is legal), that these boys you worry about, and pray over, and try to get to be still, to have manners and quit picking their nose - These guys grow up to be amazingly wonderful men. The five hour drive felt like minutes as we talked about everything from books we've read to entertainment values, to what he wants in a wife, to family planning, to Barak Obama to NPR shows we've both heard.

I really, really like my son. We all love our boys, but sometimes we wonder if we will like who they will become. Ironically, the night before I left to come down here, I was going through some old journals reading prayer concerns I had when my older kids were younger. I was telling Shepherd today that I used to pray that he would be more attentive in our homeschool - that he would get along with his younger brother (who today is one of his best friends) - that he would be a giver vs. a taker.

Our God lives, ladies (and gentlemen?), because this guy now is about to get his Masters in Political Science, is a sought after speech writer (thus the trip to D.C.), and a sensitive and caring son and brother. I literally laughed out loud at some of the things I had been worried about enough to write in my journal. Time flies. Go hug your little boy - and try to overlook some of his boyish antics. Stay faithful in your endeavor to be a godly mom - and focus on dealing with character issues (vs. noise, dirt, and chronic movement) and before you know it you'll be driving your boy to the airport, dropping him off to fly miles away in hopes of staying there, and crying your way out of the maze of airport exits knowing that God's plans for him are more important than his physical nearness to you.

Hard lessons in these letting go years....Hard, hard lessons.

Tonight I had dinner with my stepmom and my Dad's twin sister and her family. Tomorrow is my Dad's birthday (and oddly, his twin sister's too!) - but he'll be celebrating it in Heaven at a Bigger Party. He passed away unexpectedly last November and it still seems unreal. I'm here in his house, surrounded by his stuff, his pets, and his wife - And it seems like he'll be here any minute, asking me if I want to hear him play the organ (and I'll have to pretend like I haven't heard the songs many times), and making funny comments about whatever is on his giant TV, and talking to his cats in his baby-voice. He will use his heart problems to justify a couple of glasses of wine, and we will stay up and talk. Talk way past the time I want to go to bed. We would debate theology and talk about the Bible that he came to love in his later years.

If he walked in right now, within an hour he would find a way to tell me again how much he regrets not being there for me in my growing up years, and he'd look me straight in the eyes and tell me how much he loves me, and how proud of me he is.

I can almost hear the organ music right now. It makes me want a glass of wine (for my heart...)
I'm 52 yo and I miss my Daddy.

My stepmom is amazing. She's always called me her daughter and I know she means it. She's a natural born nurturer, always making sure everyone has what they need and is comfortable. I regret not knowing her better when my Dad was alive, but my Dad had a strong personality. He had "presence", so everyone around him sort of faded into the background a little. If I was making a list of things to be thankful for about my Dad's death, having Elaine as my friend/stepmom would be high up there. I really do love her, and not because I have to because my Dad married her. I love her because of her.

(BTW- Thanks for reading my blog, Elaine :)

Tomorrow will be our first Guest Blogger. My oldest daughter Brite (almost 30!!!), and mother to the World's Most Adorable Grandchildren, Cooper (2), and Adeline (1), and baby? (due in November) will share whatever she doggone wants. I have put no limitations on what they submit. If I was a betting woman I would bet that she will talk about something to do with her home or homemaking. She was Born To Be Home. She can do every homemake-y skill that a gal could ever need. I wish I could say I taught her - but all I can say is that I made sure she got the information she needed (usually from someone else.)

You'll enjoy getting to hear from her.

And I'll enjoy getting a teeny-weeny bloggy break-y.
The next day either I will blog from the convention or another child will step up and do their Posterity Duty.

Tomorrow we will go to the cemetery even though we know it's only a symbol of a life lived. And we'll both cry and stand around and stare away from the grave and look back.

And then come home and get ready for the convention.


lea said...

stop making me cry with your blog entry... and i am not crying because i am going to LOSE the challenge. well, that was only one of the tears....

Anonymous said...

I agree! I'll read and comment every day if you promise not to make me cry first thing in the morning anymore! But thank you for the hope, reminders and blessing of your experience! Just not for the cry ; )


jodi said...

Great post (though sorry, I didn't cry). Hope not only for my sons, but also that maybe, if the Lord tarrys long enough, my Dad may come around (I won't hold my breath in prayer on that one).

so, should I email or call you after my doctor's appointment this afternoon. it was *you* who was so anxious for the results, right?

brite said...

Add me to the list of early-morning sobbers. :) Sweet post.

lea said...

i think all your readers are crying because i am going to lose the challenge... right?????

Meg in Tally said...

I'm with Cathy...quit making me cry this early in the morning. (Of course, it did clear up my contacts so I can actually SEE now!)

I'm glad you and Elaine are friends..I wish I could say the same of my step-mom. I better get to work on that one!

Tammy said...

But MEG cries about everything!

Debbie said...

Thanks for the sweet comments - but I'm really in a funk over why none of my fellow homeschool moms emailed me to tell me to Come Back to my blog and fix the 10 errors I made. Or maybe you didn't see them what with your blurry eyes and all.
When I get home I may have to consider moving my blogging time to a non-sleepy hour.

I'm off to the luxury hotel for some teacher rest...I mean, training.

Davene said...

You got me on both ends of the spectrum: inspired to love my boys more and my dad. Well, I already love all of them...but to show it more and to appreciate them more. I join the league of tears-in-the-eyes. Thanks.

Emily said...

As I was reading this I announced that "Debbie's daughter is having a baby" to which my son replied, "How old is she?" I asked him how old he thought you were and he said in her 40's, I asked high or low and he said low. It seems he doesn't think you are old enough to be a grandma.

Krista said...

I enjoyed reading your sentimental thoughts on the men in your life! It is always encouraging to hear mothers talk about their children who are grown and are doing well!