Time Out from Organizing to Get Rid of a Little (or a lot of) Sin

The last two weeks have been crazy-full of preparing for the new homeschooling year, plus getting my older two (oldest 2 of the youngest 7? whatever..) ready to launch on their post-high school endeavors.

Then last week was even worse - I was forced to actually start teaching. Everything was going so great until the students showed up :)

 I've confessed before that the planning and organizing (and purchasing!) is much more fun for me than when my children come into the picture and start messing with my plans and my organization and my purchases.

Here's a few pictures of my messy schoolroom. I have no excuse - this room is great. It's the reason I wanted this house. A library with orange grass-cloth wallpaper and two walls of glossy black, built-in bookcases. And it's amply big (that farm table in the picture is 9 feet long.)  Don't hate me if you're doing school in your dining room. This is my 25th year of homeschooling. I consider this room part of my survival package.

I'll try to redeem myself by posting some "after" pictures when I've put everything away. Our guest bathroom is in this room - so I usually keep it fairly neat. But not during the first few weeks of school. I just pray for No Guests those weeks. At least not guests with small bladders.

 They say that homeschooling is a lifestyle - but my goal is always to get to the place where it's just a part of our life and not the crux of it - translation: I don't want to have to think about it on the weekends. Especially not on Sunday.

All that has very little to do with this post I'm linking to for your reading pleasure - and definite edification...and possible conviction.  I doubt if I'm even in the target audience for The Gospel Coalition blog since I believe it's aimed at full-time Christian workers (which is actually all of us, right?!), and the authors are over-the-top intellectual, so sometimes I spend too long looking up their words in dictionary.com and I forget what they're talking about.   But I don't unsubscribe because many times one of the posts REALLY, REALLY speaks to me and answers some sort of deep, theological application question that's kept me up nights. (Yes, that is exactly the kind of spiritual mom I am - the type who ponders deep issues as her head hits the pillow at night ...  unless I'm wondering what to cook tomorrow...or if my children will be abducted...or sneak out.)

The question/fear/anxiety this post answers for me is "Will my children be sanctified young adults since we  go to a less exciting, yet God-centered, church where they hear the whole counsel of God preached, in adult-speak, sans crafts and drama and easy-to-sing praise tunes?"

Wouldn't they have a better chance to walk the narrow path if we went to the fun church with the Discipleship program and the T-shirts and the accountability groups and the culturally-aware Pastor who cracks (appropriate) jokes and wears clothes they've seen on commercials?   Don't get me wrong, I love my church. Every single solitary sermon speaks of Christ; Who He is, and Who we're not  - and occasionally our beloved Pastor (who doesn't read my blog, praise Him!) even hints at application - but many, many Sunday lunches are spent trying to bribe my children into remembering something....anything (!)  from the sermon. (We used to offer dessert to those who could tell us what they learned...but we got tired of eating cake alone.)

I realize my real problem is a lack of trust in God's love for my children..and me. And His abundant provision and mercy and plans to prosper them...In His timing. But a mom's gotta fret over something other than how many meals she can get out of a whole chicken, right? (and the answer to the chicken question, at least for our family, is....half a meal. A whole chicken is practically a snack food around here.)

Since I know some of you will not click on the link and read the article (the non-commenters are probably non-clickers :)  - Even though the author basically tells us how to put away sin -  Here's a small part of the blog post from the beginning....

"So when we preach or teach passages that exhort our listeners to turn from unrighteousness and pursue holiness, to put to death their patterns of sin and walk in godliness, inevitably, we will get questions along these lines: But how do I change? How do I stop looking at porn? . . . losing my temper? . . . despising my husband? I want to put to death my sin, but I can’t."

And this part towards the end...

"Should we conform our minds to the truth of the gospel and remind ourselves of its truth? Yes. Should we bring to bear all the imperatives of the Bible, with the knowledge that Christ has already qualified us for heaven? Yes. But let us also open up our Bibles and search for Jesus, meditating on his glory, rejoicing in his perfections, tasting and seeing his goodness, and, then, let us put to death our sin as we are being transformed into his image, from one degree of glory to the next."

Now go read the whole thing! And come back and tell me whether you agree that knowing God, and showing Him as irresistible, to my precious children, is the answer to all my fears.

Here's what's working for me right now

(Once again, I refuse to lower myself and demean my three remaining readers by offering inane excuses for not posting in... awhile. So how 'bout if we all just assume that I've been very productive, doing tons of blog-worthy things, improving myself, serving others, and honoring God. OK?) 

Not that it's been such a ridiculously-long time since I last posted, but I did find it necessary to read through my last few entries to remind myself what exactly my blog is all about anyway. (Is it really a laundry blog?!)  And I realized I have left quite a few loose ends over the months which I now plan to remedy.

Remember this post where I once again apologized for not blogging told you about a book I had read on productivity? Well for goodness sakes people, aren't you even a little curious about whether the methods in the book transformed my life like the book jacket said it would?!

 (Didn't think so....Do you even remember who I am?!!) 

 Actually, I'm happy to report that there was one suggestion in the book - one seemingly small time management tip - that helped me cut my to-do list to post-it note size.  The author of the book suggests that if a task will take you less than 2 minutes then you should just do it right away vs. writing it down to do later. I've been amazed at how many things I do each day that take less than 2 minutes. And how many very short tasks I had previously put off doing. Maybe not life transforming, but definitely an attitude change. 

(I'm also still doing a regular Mind Sweep, which I told you about here. My Mind Sweep takes a stack of post-it notes but I'll let my therapist deal with that.)

Another idea (one which I would describe as brilliant, except that I came up with this one myself and I do not like to praise myself with such flamboyant adjectives) which has saved me oodles of time this year - and kept me lookin' good (...at least that's what my friends say...) is to focus on refining one part of my wardrobe at a time. 


 Two summers ago was the year of the T-shirt. My mission was to find the perfect T for me.  After some experimenting around at Kohls, Target, and a few nicer stores, I realized a petite fits me best (without fitting me TOO well, if you get my drift) and is the right length for me - even though I'm not petite height. So now I know exactly what brand of T-shirt is 'mine' and I will not even give those others a second glance. So there.

Last year it was denim - I kid you not, I found a pair of jeans that made everyone ask me if I had been seeing a personal trainer. That would've been reward enough, but the bonus is that shopping was uber-easy since when I went to a store or a website, I was only looking for jeans or capris, not shirts (that was last year) or skirts or shoes. No ambling through Marshalls for me. Nope. It was straight to the one row of jeans, then back to the car.
Easy peasy.

 2011 has been fun and low-cost. It's been my Sandal Year. I discovered that shoes really do make the woman, or at least the outfit. I bought these (in brown and in grey) and these , and of course these in black and for 1/2 price (and a few other pairs that I would show you but my sandal financier occasionally reads my blog.) 


Because I'm only shopping for one type of item, I am in and out of stores more quickly and I have a better idea of what is a good deal. I'm not keen on shopping (except for book shopping, I'm real keen on that...and they always fit and never go out of style, and you can buy them even on your fat days. 

One last thing that has worked for me recently is to use the lazy days of summer to teach my children a few skills that will make  my their life easier once school starts. Here's a picture of Daniel and Andrew having a banana bread bake-off. It was a tie :)

Oh, and here's something that didn't work for me. I had another birthday.  I can now get 25% off at Goodwill on Tuesdays, which is such comfort as I look into the mirror and see my mother staring back at me.

My family lavished me with construction paper promises of back rubs, foot rubs, and car washes. And my husband got me an ipod docking station - which means I now need a construction paper promise to teach me how to use my ipod.

Here's my amazing birthday meal; Pioneer Woman's caprese salad, sauteed asparagus, steak, and dear husband's now-famous boston cream pie (which is really a cake, so what's up with that?)

See you in a few months!  (I'm trying to keep my expectations low so I can surprise myself.)

Actually, when I hit 100 followers my son has promised me a blog refurbishing. So....that should be sometime later in this century. I'm excited!

My 8th Sixteen Year Old

(I have no idea why my pictures are grainy. Use your imagination to make them clearer. And if you're my older son, and you're reading this...Help! I just noticed I also have some kind of weird borders around a few pictures. What, I'm supposed to write, then do my own tech support, too?! Ridiculous.)

Sixteen is definitely an age that causes rejoicing. Although it makes me a little sad.

When I met Alex he was a small, brown, absolutely adorable, stuttering, speech impeded, extremely shy, bad-boy - brought to a McDonalds Play Place by his foster mom, to have a visit with his four brothers and their two foster moms. When the boys had been abandoned on Christmas Eve, it had been impossible to find a place to take the 5 of them, so they were split up - and it just became easier on everyone, except them, to keep them separated.

Pictured above: seven kids, ages 2-8, and four older ones (the life savers!), ages 12-18. Bad picture, great kids.

I've never hidden my boys' story from them. Some of them are old enough to remember a few details anyway.

A couple of them prefer the made-up version they use to block out the memories.

Their story is sad. They all have plenty of excuses to give their therapist for any future dysfunction, but thanks to a God of mercy,  they also have a story of saving grace and sovereignty that would make a marvelous men's retreat testimony one day.

Alex, a big-eyed, smiley 3 year old, was put into foster care because of neglect and abandonment. Alex, a shy, insecure 4 year old was taken out of foster care because of abuse. And Alex, an angry, adorable, scared-to-love 5 year old was adopted into our home because of love, faith, temporary (or not) insanity, and a big dose of over-confidence on our part. 

We didn't change any of the boys' first names since it seemed like they had plenty of new things to get used to already. Not only did they now have two, older, pale-faced parents; they also had four new sisters and two more brothers. They were now part of a chaotic family of 13.  They were now homeschooled, slept in a room with 3 sets of bunkbeds, and were gawked at like a circus act when we went ....anywhere!  

I never blamed anyone for staring. One time we parked in front of a mirrored window and I was able to see what others saw as we filed out of the van.  Children ages, 2,2,4,5,7,8,8,12,13,15,18 (mostly dressed alike...which did not help our case for normalcy....) exiting a large green van and lining up with buddies. I had to LOL. A long, hard LOL (although,it would have been longer and harder had it not been MY family...)

From that point on I knew we would always be a walking infomercial. Either husbands would look at us, nudge their wives, and whisper, "Have you taken your pill today?!"...Or they would see a glimpse of Jesus Loves the Little Children.

 We gave them each a new middle name, one with a vision and some character attached to it. A name they could live up to. Alex became Alexander Elliot - named after the martyred missionary Jim Elliot.

Some of my 16 year old man-boy's struggles have gone by the wayside. He miraculously no longer stutters. Apparently, that was an emotional response to something. Maybe he started stuttering when he lived in a car with his 4 brothers and parents. Or maybe it started the day the police officers took the five sickly, malnourished boys from their crack house.  Or perhaps it was when he was burned with a cigarette by his older foster "brother".

I'd love to tell you that with lots of love and consistency and prayer and discipline, I can see his name sake rising within him.

But I'm not sure yet.

 He still has fits of anger when he's caught stealing food (Maybe some kids never get over that feeling that the next meal is not a given...), or when the medicine he takes for his OCD, ADD, and Tourettes makes him unable to sleep so he gets up and turns the computer on - and gets caught. Because he's a horrible liar. Praise God.

When he's particularly mad, he folds himself into a little ball and gets as far under his covers as he can, trying to make himself invisible. I can tell he's hiding from something; us, the world,  himself. 

The same boy is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G in a thousand and one ways.   

Alex writes wonderful (and frequent) notes of apology. He totally knows what he's done wrong, right down to the wrong thinking that caused it. And he writes non-apology, just cuz notes, too. 

When your child is adopted, notes like this mean more :)

He is the first one to give a gift, and the last one to ask for one. He rubs my back. He kisses me goodnight. He's not embarrassed to sit close to me at church or ask for my opinion in front of his friends. He prays that his Dad would make enough money "so he could keep some for himself instead of spending it all on us and groceries." Spoken like a true, sensitive teenager.

He runs like the wind, winning cross-country races with perfect form, although no one has ever taught him how to do it.  He excels at soccer, tennis, swimming, skateboarding - anything athletic. When he takes his shirt off he looks like a muscle man (sorry, girls, no pictures.)

He's smart - doing algebra, dissecting crayfish in his biology class, studying latin and logic and reading through the classics in his homeschool co-op. I wonder what the neurologist, the one who told us Alex would probably never read, would think about that. Someday maybe Alex will drive me down there to ask him :)

Oh, and Alex should be getting his Eagle Scout rank in the next few months. And his Dad and I will stand beside him, proud and amazed, probably crying - and taking very little credit, knowing that God obviously has a plan for this guy, and our job is to persevere (a big job, I humbly add...) and watch it unfold.  And try to keep him out of jail. That would be good, too.

Happy Birthday, Alex.  I love you, son.

Don't Follow Me, I'm Lost

I've always loved that bumper sticker. But it doesn't really fit here because I want you to follow me.


Even though I rarely blog. 


I mean...Should a blogger really have to blog in order to have followers? Obviously not.


 And I have four new followers since I last checked. In fact, they've been here more recently than I have. Which is pitiful, I know. But why would I keep coming here when I know there's nothing new. (just kidding...)


 But, I bet you get tired of me apologizing for my inconsistent blogging. Well, too bad.  It makes me feel better. Plus, it may be the last time you'll ever hear it because of what I'm about to tell you.


I've been listening to a book (isn't it cool how you can do that?) called Making It All Work. It's the sequel to Getting Things Done, The Art of Stressfree Productivity (GTD), which I recently read half of, then immediately started touting to all my friends....only to find out the book was a best-seller.... about 10 years ago.... and everybody on the planet, 'cept me, has already read the book.


(Although I was too nice to mention this to my so-called friends, but wouldn't you think if they had actually read a revolutionary book about Getting Things Done - even if it was behind my back -that I might have noticed a little stressfree productivity going on in their lives? If you get my drift ....)


 Anyway, if you've been in a cave for the last 10 years and have not yet read GTD, don't read it. 


Just get the sequel, Making It All Work, in which he spends the first few chapters telling you how GTD has revolutionized the known world. (Apparently,...Learn Humility, was not one of the things the author was trying to Get Done. But then, the book has sold a trillion copies - A trillion + 1 now that I finally bought one.) He also summarizes everything from the 1st book in the second book. So it was almost worth waiting the 10 years for.


Because I'm super-smart (if not up-to-date on best sellers), I questioned why one would need to write a book called Making It All Work, if indeed one had already Gotten It All Done. But who am I to question a trillionaire?


So, like I said. Don't get the first book (even though it's dirt cheap everywhere...bein' that it's so old news), get Making It All Work. 


Or don't get it. Just wait and see if it all works for me. (And btw, if you follow me, you'll be the first to know...)


One concept from the book that I've already implemented is the idea of Mind Sweeping. 


Do you ever feel like your mind is full of dirt? (Don't answer that.) 


 Mine. is. full.  I needed an industrial size dust pan to sweep it all up.


 The idea is to 'sweep up' all the stuff that's clogging the corners of your head. When all that fuzz is scattered around, whispering Guilt and Overwhelmed-ness at you, you end up discouraged - maybe even paralyzed. So you just try to put it all out of your mind and go have a bowl of ice cream instead. (The author didn't mention that, but I know that's what you do.)


But when you've gathered everything that is making claims on your attention- things you haven't completed or have procrastinated starting on - you'll sleep better, be nicer to your kids, make more money, and be well on your way to establishing world peace. Or at the very least you'll realize you have too many things vying for your attention. No wonder you're not experiencing stressfree productivity! 


 When I did my mindsweep, not only did I sleep better, but I decided about half the stuff in my dustpan needed to be thrown out. My mind was being cluttered up by a lot of stuff I was never going to act on. Some of the ideas in there weren't even reasonable. But they were mixed in there with all the stuff that really needed acting on. And the two were all mixed up like breadcrumbs in a meatloaf (We've been working on similes this week. Isn't that a good one, kids?)


The point of the mindsweep is to take all that stuff you obsess over; the projects, the errands, the books, the chores - and re-locate them to a place where they can be rationally sorted and acted upon. 


Want to try it? Just get out a single piece of paper and a pretty pen, set a timer for 10 minutes, and begin writing. Think about what David Allen calls "open loops" - everything in your mind that's not closed/finished/done. Start with the easy stuff. The project you're behind on. Anything with a deadline. Every thought that makes you "cringe, groan, pause, ponder, or exclaim."


It may take a couple of sweeps to get everything collected. And then you can start processing it.


But if I tell you how to do that right now, you won't need to follow me, now will you? :)


Just go make your list. World peace is waiting on you.

Finding Sabbath Rest

Sundays are for worship with fellow believers, delighting in God's care and provision, sweet tea with Sunday lunch (one way we set the day apart), and resting.

With five boys sharing one room, they like to scope out a quieter Sunday spot, grab their pillows (and other snuggly paraphernalia) and head for a tranquil spot. The hammock and the trampoline are two coveted havens.


And then after rest, but before dessert, they need to sweat a little (in preparation for going back to sit still at the p.m. service.) 

Isaiah 58:12-14 (English Standard Version)

 And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt;
   you shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
you shall be called the repairer of the breach,
   the restorer of streets to dwell in.
  "If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath,
   from doing your pleasure on my holy day,
and call the Sabbath a delight
   and the holy day of the LORD honorable;
if you honor it, not going your own ways,
   or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly;
then you shall take delight in the LORD,
    and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;
I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,
    for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

Homeschooling Tips Finale

(Did you notice I changed my background color from Pepto Bismal  to mocha dots? Both go with the donut theme :) , but I like to change things up around here so you don't get bored during the long wait between posts.)

Last time, I promised to tell you about Table Time. And I made some pretty hefty claims about what it would produce. Family unity....enrichment learning....higher IQ's.....better digestion....an end to that pesky climate change dilemma.

Well, how about I stick to the first two claims and define Table Time for you? It's very complex and elaborate, but I think you can handle it if you read slowly and deliberately.

Table time..... is a time .....directly after a meal- usually breakfast and lunch- where we sit.... at a table....all together... and learn.

Take a sec to let that soak in if you need to. Maybe read it again, underlining any of the words you need to look up.

OK, I know. It sounds too simplistic to actually work, but the beauty behind Table Time is that you're already all in one place and everyone is happy (aka full), and ready to learn.

Here's the Why:

As our children get older, they are learning at different levels, reading different materials, doing subjects that take longer periods of time - and it's harder to find shared enthusiasm. It's also harder to squeeze in time during the regular school day for picture study (art appreciation), poetry, Shakespeare, geography, character-building literature (like Lamplighter books), hymn singing, composer study, Scripture recitation, and hygiene (my boy's personal favorite to discuss at the table.)

We've done a different combination of those over the years, but normally we start our time together, during breakfast, by sharing what we've read in our quiet times. This is not a lengthy sharing time; they usually just read one verse that stood out to them and sometimes I ask them why. 

Occasionally, they'll have a question that tempts me to want to preach/lecture/exhort/chide - but I try to keep that to a minimum...which they greatly appreciate. However, I love to share with them something the Lord brought to my attention during my own quiet time - and without Table Time, I doubt I would remember to do this. The Scripture tells us a student is not above his master, which is an admonishment to teachers not to expect more from their students than they're willing to give themselves. I want them to know the Word is my lifeline.


By this time everyone has finished eating (or the food is gone), but we stay at the table - not even stopping to clear - and I usually do a character lesson. We've used Doorposts material as well as Character Sketches and Character First booklets. We end the morning time by praying and singing a hymn. We sing the same hymn every day for a month, every verse :) and easily memorize 12 hymns a year. The first time we sing it, I usually have one of the older children read aloud some background information about the hymn and the writer. Some of the stories behind the lyrics are amazing. 


(I should add here that the children I currently have at home are not good singers, but I don't let that stop us. My first four, now grown and singing hymns elsewhere, were very good vocalists and they spoiled me.)

A good source for choosing hymns to learn is your Pastor. I gave ours a list of possibilities and he chose the ones he knew we would be singing regularly at church, along with the Doxology and the choruses we sing after the offering and the end of services. I love watching a child's face light up when a familiar hymn is sung in church. A good hymn for all ages is "This is My Father's World."


One of our favorite morning Table Time reads was Everyday Graces, which combined etiquette lessons with snippets of classic children's literature. We also read The Goops 
a few years back - and the poems we memorized in that book are still (unfortunately) with us. 

Lunch is pretty much the same scenario (without the cereal), but I usually eat before them so I can talk without food in my mouth. While morning Table Time is usually the same thing every day, the lunch subjects change according to the day.
Last year we did Art appreciation and Shakespeare on Mon/Wed and Geography/Health on Tues/Thurs.   Fridays are always read-aloud time. Usually a historical novel (Henty?) or a longer classic.  I used to wait to read until after lunch when we would all retire to the living room, they would color or draw, and I would occasionally fall asleep mid-sentence. I still let them color on Fridays while I read. It keeps their hands off each other, and it gives the older kids a chance to color without feeling silly :)  I get great, educational coloring books from Dover.


For picture study/art appreciation I simply pass around a work of art (from a book, a postcard, a calendar,...) for the children to look at for a minute or so each, then we talk about how the picture makes us feel, what colors stood out to us, and whether we liked it. Many times, after the picture has gone around the table, I ask them to describe it. This helps them work on their attention to detail. As with the hymns, we try to study the works of one artist for a month. If you can study artists that correspond with the historical period you're studying - great. If not, no biggie. Table time is not something to stress over. It should not take lots of planning.
There is no right or wrong way to do it.


For geography, we've used blank maps or library books, or a globe and a cd of songs. The point is just to have everyone working on the same thing (unity, remember?) and to use small increments of time to consistently cover a subject. One year, we did Anne VosKamp's Geography of the World and we absolutely loved it! If you choose something structured like that, don't give in to the temptation to keep the kids at the table for hours. Just take your time and enjoy it! It may take you two years to get through it but that's better than never getting around to it, right?

Well, I hope this little mini-series of homeschooling tips has been helpful. It's been a nice refresher for me. If you're in the Tallahassee area, come hear more of this life-changing information at the September TEACH meeting where I'll be the featured (meaning..only) speaker.  



I always hate to make promises, but I got some great pictures of my newest granddaughter while she and her mom and brother were visiting me recently, that I'm itching to show (off.) We are now calling our home the Haven from Bats. I'll explain later (maybe even this week....although probably not.) .Hey, maybe I can add Blogging to our Table Time. They could all sit around (silently) and watch me type.




 

Even More of "My" Best Homeschooling Tips

Alrighty then, are you done implementing all the tips I gave you in the last post? 
 
Of course you're not - and that leads right in to my next tip. By the way, I'd like some bonus points for this one because it's mine-all-mine (as far as I can remember.....)


(6) As avant-garde home educators, with internet access, library cards, magazine subscriptions, cable (I wish!), amazon one-clicks, email loops, and cutting-edge blogs (ahem....) - information surrounds us. And homeschooling moms are all about knowledge. Curious is our middle name. We want answers (preferably without having to pay extra for the answer key.) 

That's all good, but we need to be sure we give ourselves ample time between all that knowledge-seeking to apply some of the great stuff we're learning. Maybe before we check out another how-to book or drive to another workshop, or read another blog (except mine....My blog is immune to this tip) we should make time to do a few of the things we heard about in the last book, blog, or workshop.  Inspiration is meant to arouse some sort of activity.


OK, enough for the heavy-hitting, conviction-laden, Nazi-Blogger talk. Here are a few practical ideas that I really like. 


(7) Instead of just assigning books for your child to read this year, give them a little ownership in the process. Make a pile, including nature study books, biographies, character-building fiction (Lamplighter books),and books heavy on geography (like the Holling C. Holling series), and let them choose five. Or take turns choosing. Your son picks the short one with mostly pictures, then you get to pick the next one :)

(8) This goes along with #7, and I think I remember seeing this idea on the Ambleside Online site. And if you want to totally ignore #6, you could spend some serious knowledge-gathering, inspiration-seeking time on the Ambleside Online site. I'm not saying don't go there. I'm saying go there. But don't go until you're ready and able to apply some of what you'll learn there.

Instead of making a list of the books your child reads this year, make a color copy of each  book's cover when they've completed their reading. It's really fun to look back and reminisce about the contents and to decide if you really could judge that book by it's cover.  For you overachiever-mommies, you could even have your younger children give you an oral narration to be written at the bottom or back of the copy. For older students, the copied cover can be placed in a page protector and a book summary can be slipped behind it. Won't that be impressive in this year's portfolio?!

(9) Here's something I learned years ago (that I APPLIED - because I learned #6 the hard way...).
Instead of being an eager-beaver starter this year, why not begin with just one or two subjects the first week, then when those are going well - and you have a realistic idea of how long they will take - add a few more?  So many times we start the first day enthusiastically with a full schedule, only to experience burn-out on Day Two. Did you know that private schools get most of their inquiry calls (from homeschoolers calling anonymously) during the first week of school? (I made that up. But it could be true!)

(9b) Daily consistency - if only for short periods of time- gets far better long-term results than trying to work for six hours once every two or three months when the mood strikes. A few subjects done thoroughly and consistently is better than many subjects done half-heartedly and occasionally.

(10) Here's a tip by J'Aime Ryskind, Homeschooling Today, March/April 1999. (I told you I was overdue to clean out my files...)  I struggle to apply this, but very much appreciate the theory.
"Once the child has completed his portion of the work for the day, let him stop. It may take him only ten or fifteen minutes to read a chapter of his book or do a page of math you've assigned. If he has done the work correctly and neatly (always insist on that), he is finished. The child is rewarded for working accurately and efficiently by being able to do what he wants to do - practice music, play ball, putter with computers, read, invent, draw, imagine, daydream - the rest of the day."

I would add a caveat to Ms. Ryskind's admonition. Some children can't handle large amounts of free time. They tend to bother a child who isn't quite finished, or nag their mom for snacks, or nag their mom for Wii time, or gravitate towards the same activity day after day (and it's usually a borderline-approved activity).
At the beginning of each school year I like to make a list, with the help of the children, of lots of different free-time choices. The children know that anything on that list is mom-approved.  If it's an activity that needs permission (or involves food, paint, or fire), I put a * by it and they know to ask first. Seeing the list of ideas, which includes things like Knex and Lincoln Logs, paper dolls, stamping, sidewalk chalk, jumping on the trampoline, listening to a story tape, rollerblading, lizard hunting (as long as they don't show mom their 'catch'), chess, taking digital photos (with the old camera...), and writing thank you notes (Now that's a popular choice!)


OK, On your mark, get set, Apply! :)

Boys, Foolishness, and Forgiveness

dear mother,
i am sorry for holding daniel under water. i did not realize it because i was in the middle of fighting justin when it happened. (and i did not actually have him in a leg lock, and I think he could have gotten out of it if he tried harder.) i will go apologize to lil' danny.
will you forgive me?
love, Alex

Dear Alex,
I most definitely forgive you for "trying to kill your brother" (as Daniel put it). I forgive you just as Christ has forgiven me for doing things that caused him to have to die on a cross to take the punishment for my sins. Thankfully, He has paid for your sin, too, so you don't have to die for holding Daniel underwater.

Thanks for admitting your sin and apologizing. And especially for telling Daniel that you were wrong and should never have done that to him. Your little brother watches you, copies you, and wants to be like you. Wouldn't it be terrible if he did something foolish, even on accident, and hurt someone (like Cooper or another younger child)? Let's both try to remember that our actions have consequences, OK? I'm really glad God gave me you for a son!

I love you :)
MOM

Schedule for Summer Success

I'm not one to complain (cough:cough), so I haven't mentioned much on my blog about the various special needs of my children. Most of them have ADD (trust me, it's real), one has cerebral palsy, one guy has major OCD/Tourettes; mix in a little Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and add a mother with her own "issues" (mostly depravity) and you get a family that thrives on routine - and prayer.

Actually, most children are more secure and well-behaved when they know what to expect. Flexibility is great, but you need something to flex 'from' or you end just plain disorganized, if not lazy. Spontaneity is more appreciated when it doesn't occur on an hourly basis.

And yes, those who know me can go ahead and count this as just more advice from a B.O. (Flylady's abbreviation for someone who is Born Organized.) However, the desire to plan my days is more of a survival technique for me than anything I inherited.

"Those who fail to plan, plan to fail", right?

I'm not keen on failure. But that's the guaranteed outcome when I wake up late, have no idea what we're eating for breakfast (lunch of dinner), and don't have a clue whether we can play all day or if there's important work to be done.

"But, it's summer!" (notice the quotes...) Summertime means more hours together, more time to relax and smell the (weedy) roses. Time to play unhurried games, make home-made slushees, and finally have leisure time to read all those books (I can't stop buying) on our shelves.

So, right around June 1st, instead of throwing the schedules and chore charts out the screen door, we simply "summerize" them.

And the children thrive.
And the mom is happy.
And projects slowly get crossed off the list (so I can keep adding more.)
And game pieces get found (or the game goes in the trash),
And math and spelling are reviewed.
And we all live happily ever after.

And we get a TLC show offered to us.

Here's the way our days are going this summer:

Kids wake an hour after mom - I like to start the day ahead of them. Vital.

Morning Chores - Never changes, year-round, no thinking required (make beds, gather garbage, unload dishwasher, feed cats, check pool, etc.)

Breakfast/Bible - I try to have my quiet time before the kids are up (preventive measures), then I can use our breakfast time to read to them. We're currently going through this.

More chores (We simply can't get enough of them. We're chore addicts!)- These are planned out by me, sometimes during that Power Hour before they wake up, sometimes taken from an on-going list I make during PMS, when everywhere I turn I find something that irritates me and proves my life is falling apart. For example, today one son re-painted a coffee table; another cleaned refrigerator coils; two children scraped paint from baseboards, and the other vassal cleaned the back porch, then wiped out the inside of the washer and dryer.

This is gruntwork that wouldn't usually show up on your weekly to-do list. But, it's so satisfying to have it completed. Which is why sometimes I walk around amidst my laborers, popping chocolate kisses into their sweet, subservient mouths. For real. I did this today. One for them, two for me.

These last one hour. If they finish early, the lucky-duckies get another chore....plus extra time on the computer (otherwise EVERY chore would take the complete hour...because my children are smart - - - when it comes to doing less work.)

When the hour is up, it's Playtime for an hour. Some days I suggest a playtime activity (because otherwise they would always choose Wii or computer time, and we all know what that causes. Bad attitudes ...... and sometimes the kids are affected, too.)

When they were younger, and I was a recovering perfectionist, I had a list of every game, puzzle, card deck, and art supply we owned. We would rotate through the list making use of all our wonderful ($$) resources and stimulating our creativity. When I would tell other moms about our playtime diversity they would look at me with eyes longing to Be Me (or they would immediately leave the room afraid whatever I had might be contagious.)

There are also pragmatic reasons for having such a list. We've been out of school for less than a month and we have discarded 7 games -either because there were important pieces missing, or because the game no longer kept the kid's interest (or it was embarrassing to play - like National Geographic's On Assignment.) We've also rediscovered some games that would have stayed on the shelf had Wii been an option for play time. And I already have some framed paintings, (way too many) friendship bracelets, and a knitted eyeglass case - all because I "suggested" art time.

After Play Time, we do Summer School. Mostly math review (including some board games and electronic hand-held flash cards), some spelling, and two chapters in a Mom-assigned literature book. Then they read something from the science shelf - followed by recording anything interesting they learned in a spiral notebook.

Lunch and clean-up

Rest time - This is the time for each of us to be completely alone - very important in a large family. Vital. The children usually listen to a story on CD, a history tape, or continue to read. Sometimes Molly plays with dolls, the boys occasionally color in a Dover color book or do Legos, and I almost always use this time to read blogs and steal ideas. This usually lasts 1-2 hours, according to how tired I am :)

Afternoon chore time- This is only the necessary end-of-day stuff. Putting up laundry; cleaning out the vans; finishing any projects started in the morning, dinner prep.

More play, followed by more play - The children swim or ride bikes, do some dangerous skateboarding, or play four square in the driveway. I like the kids to be outside several hours a day, but there are certain hours in Florida where a person can not breathe, and where clothing is a huge health-hazard. Fortunately, there are only about 8 months that fit this category.

After dinner and clean-up we might watch a movie (so far, the John Adams mini-series and 3 volumes of Anne of Green Gables) or play a family game, or read aloud or listen to a book on CD. We're in the middle of an audio recording of Around the World in 80 days, and the British actor who reads it has us all in suspense (even though most of us have read the book and already know that Phileas Fogg did not rob the bank).

Occasionally my husband and I will remember we're a married couple and try to do something alone (like go over the calendar, or talk about why I can't stop buying books) in which case we banish our offspring to the basement. (And they don't mind because there is foosball, ping pong, and a pool table down there.)

Then we all usually eat ice cream and go to bed.

So to "summerize" our schedule: Eat, Work, Play, Learn, Eat, Rest, Work, Play, Eat, Play, Eat. Sleep.

Work hard, play harder, eat often. The perfect summer equation.



P.S. I noticed that I have one new follower. Thank you! I only need 6,964 more, and then I can change my name to The Debster.

Tooting My Horn - Summer Edition

"Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it." ~Russel Baker

(I need to look into whether any of my kids are writing summer quotes under pseudonyms.)

Just a slight warning. You might want to cover your ears. I'll be tooting my own horn (loudly) in the next few paragraphs. I've been away from my blog for way too long so I lured myself back with the thought of bragging about how wonderful I am. (Oh, wait! That's what Facebook's for.)

Summer is in full swing here, which means I'm finally able to focus on all the areas of our home that get neglected during the school year - with an occasional break to swim and eat Popsicles just so I don't get reported on the Mean Mommy Hotline.

I may have made a rash vow while under the spell of the first morning of sleeping in, but I decided to go back to my Preschool Mommy days and start working alongside my children vs. giving them a list and going back to check (i.e., criticize and rant about their lack of character, interspersed with lectures about the kids in Ethiopia who work in the blazing son with a sibling on their back, just to bring in enough food for the next meal - all with a smile on their face, singing like the African Boys Choir.)




It's actually been working out well. The weeds in the yard are dwindling as my children and I yank them while we discuss politics and oil spill solutions. (If you look very, very closely at the picture above you can see our nicely weeded yard just beyond the pool. Can't see it? Trust me, then. The weeds are not there. Just like my camera, which I left in N.C., which is why I'm using all these old pictures that barely relate to my post.)

The videos and board games are being sorted and organized, in between stopping to play a few/watch a few and dispute who won the last time we played. And closets are being cleaned out/decluttered as we listen to The Hobbit on cd and my children try to keep me up to date on which eery-sounding character is which.

Of course I have my ulterior motives. (Sanity mostly.) I didn't want my summer to start with a bunch of whining and complaining (from me.) I needed to get a lot of stuff done but I also needed to reconnect with kids who had spent way too much time with other adults (aka teachers).

Something else I've resurrected from the Things I Wish We Still Did file is Table Time, where we linger after breakfast to have morning devotions and pray ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication) around and around the table. We're working through an amazing Bible Doctrine for Older and Younger Children book, so I get to listen to my children's perceptions of the things I hold dearest - and practice not rolling my eyes or sighing when I hear some of their answers.

We're reading aloud again. And listening to fun music. And swimming until we're exhausted (and clean.) We've already had a trampoline accident, which is one of the earliest signs of summer in Florida, and I have the ingredients to make some killer edamame succotash (and I'm not being literal when I say that....No matter what my boys may say) and everyone has picked out something they want to learn to cook this summer from one of our dusty, unopened cache of cookbooks.





I'm sure my summer plans will get off-track before long. But for now I'm enjoying my first two weeks of success and tooting my own horn for the foresight to remember my past failures and try to trick them into forgetting where I live this year. So far, so good.

As long as I'm posting random, unrelated pictures, I'll unashamedly throw in a few of The World's Cutest GrandChildren during their recent visit with The World's Most Loving GrandMother.